Achievement Unlocked

Wow I got a notice this morning that I’m up to 10 followers. Thank you all who are standing by me on this journey.  I hope your journeys are going well.

Nothing to report, I’m stuck at 203.5 lbs for the second week in a row. First I was pleased that I was finally back to my pre Christmas weight bit now it’s a struggle to get down below that. Makes me feel like my goal of being at 199 by January 31st will be impossible.

Work is a struggle and stressing me out big time. I’m doing my best to not eat to block the stress out.

January Madness

I think January really is my favorite month of the year; it’s about as chilly as it’s going to get (Southern California, remember?) and everyone is in on the health food craze to keep up with their resolutions so there is so many fresh food sales.

I, once again, try to use My Fitness Pal to keep track of calories and find myself at a frantic dilemma when I have something I don’t know the exact caloric value of. I do my best to guess but I try to guess too high because I don’t want to be wrong. Losing weight is easy, practicing willpower is hard. I want to snack after 10:00 pm while watching Netflix, I want a midnight snack of chocolate before going to bed. I don’t know what it is about being home and watching TV that makes me want to cram high calorie food into my mouth. It really doesn’t matter what I’m doing, I just want to eat late at night. This is my hardest habit to break regarding food. Makes me nervous if I’ve been losing weight or gaining it. Will find out tomorrow.

I’ve also been using HabitRPG on my phone and PC for a while now. It’s really fun and I like having a little character that levels up based on my actions.

Emojis are super cute and fun! I’ve learned the beauty of these little guys.

I’ve not stopped taking so many pictures, I’m just uploading what I do take to Flickr and you can see them on the right side of the screen. Enjoy!

 

Goodbye 2014

2014 was full of ups and downs but I really feel like I ended 2014 on a high note. While I was not my lowest weight (I was 195.14 during the summer) I feel that I have friends and support to help me with this.

I’m starting 2015 at 204.6 and knowing that I’ll be under, and stay under, 200 before January is over.

I’m trying not to make resolutions this year, but the habit is hard to break. I just know things are looking up.

Uncertain

Not much to report. I am slightly envious of people who have something to blog about every day. My life seems so boring I don’t know what to say. I could always talk about work and stuff, but that doesn’t seem very interesting.

I gained 2 pounds over Christmas and I’ve yet to lose it again. It makes me worried but I also feel like it’s almost permission to eat way too much Christmas candy and chocolate. I’ve gained two pounds, it’s over, I lost.

I admitted to a friend that to lose weight I have to obsess about it.  The flip side seems to be if I slip up once I want to give up all together.  I can understand that losing weight is a stumble, fall and then pick yourself back up process, but it feels like I wallow in the mud when I fall and take my sweet time getting back up to try, try again.

Perhaps I can bounce up more quickly and obsess a little harder in 2015.

Happy Anniversary to me

I have the mobile version of Word Press and I use it more often that the PC and I got a “badge” in my notifications congratulating me on 5 years with Word Press. Five years! That’s ridiculous. I’ve spend five years trying to be thinner and healthier and failed miserably?

What am I doing with my life? Not being strong willed and successful it seems. It’s depressing if I think about it too much. How much I’ve stopped and started. Gave up all together more than once. Losing the same weight over and over. Not getting anywhere yet I’d keep trying every few months.

Is 2015 going to be different? Probably, I have one thing right now that I didn’t have these past five years; someone to talk to about all this with. People who understand the struggle I’m going through and aren’t judging me. Strangers who share just this little part of my life that I can’t talk to with anyone else because I’m too afraid to open up.

Happy Anniversary, Piggy.

Fun and Games 2014 (pic heavy)

So I have all but Christmas Eve off of work this week (and I’ll be working after Christmas) which leads to lots of lounging around, organizing the house and playing games on my phone. I have an android so I don’t know if these fun diversions are available for iPhones.

Some, well most, of these are just to keep from being bored at work or home. I try not to get too involved into a game. I have several because I don’t like playing the same things over and over. So I’ll play each game anywhere from 5-30 minutes at a time, sometimes once a week or even several times a day just depending on if I like the game at the moment.

So Castleville and Order and Chaos are crossed out because I’m not reviewing them. I’ve given up on CastleVille and Order and Chaos is too distracting. Maybe I’ll talk about it another time.

So, without further ado, and in order they are listed.

Weekly Weigh In 12/19/14

Alright. So I found batteries for my scale at IKEA, awesome. Means I can start weighing myself again.

I’m back down to 203.5. Just 4 more lbs to being under 200 again. While this feels amazing because it’s an easily achievable goal for me now, I ended up “celebrating” a little too much yesterday.

So the day started out alright, avocado and Sriracha, some celery with hummus and coffee. Then, I started snacking at work. Ugh! At lunch I went and bought gum and that helped a lot. While at the store I found some awesome Ghirardelli peppermint bark which I bought for my boyfriend for Christmas and saw some Godiva chocolate lava cake truffles. Yeah, I bought those too. I got off of work at 11:45 pm and proceeded to eat 3, count them 3! truffles on my walk home. Hey, I was down 4.5 pounds from when I started on the 21st of last month, plus I was walking home… it couldn’t be too bad, right? Right?

Gah!

Anyway. So my boyfriend went to a Christmas party and was feeling nice and brought me home some french fries and 2 cupcakes (that were a little smooshed) from that party. Since I had 3 truffles already I put the cupcakes away for a later time. I ate those bad boys like I hadn’t ate a thing all day. Both of them. They were delicious. Plus the fries. I’m fairly certain I ate back 3 of those pounds I’ve lost last night/ this morning.

Let’s hope I can do some damage control before next Friday so I have a loss to report and not a gain!

Monday, Monday

I don’t know if I like days off because it seems like I work harder than when I’m working.  I’m not sure if that’s true or not but today it certainly was.  I worked hard today and I feel great too. The only downside to today was my boyfriend.  Now, he’s a terrific guy but sometimes he just grates on my nerves. He can’t stop talking.  It’s so annoying.  If course he gets annoyed that I don’t talk very much. Hanging out with him means I’m eating a lot more. I can make him breakfast and not make any for myself and he doesn’t question it, but when it comes to eating out, he gets mad when I don’t want to.

We cleaned out half our storage unit and went to a couple of stores, including Costco for food.

Food Diary

Friday & Saturday

When I close at work on Fridays & Saturdays I don’t get out until midnight. I’m lucky in the fact that my coworkers never want to hang out and drink after.  The only other lady I work with and I are friendly and like to hang out every once in a while.  Well, she came over Friday night after work and we ate and drank, generally having a good time.

I feel so guilty eating after 9:00 pm. I don’t know why I feel guilt over eating late but I don’t have the regret until after I’ve ate the delicious food. At least it’s not candy I was eating.

So I ate a whole bunch of stuff I probably shouldn’t have at an hour I definitely shouldn’t be eating.

I can’t wait to get batteries for my scale

Strange things

I’m not a big fan of strangers walking up to me and talking to me. Especially when it’s after 9:00 pm at night, especially if I’m alone, and especially if it’s two guys.  They talked about beer and where to get some good beer.  Since I work in the beer industry I’m usually pretty pleased to help people out. They both smiled way too much. It was unnerving. I’m sure they were just being friendly, but it freaked me out a little. I walked the long way home to my place and ran the rest of the way when I turned the corner out of sight. Maybe I’m just being too paranoid.

I did well food wise today, minus embellishing my dinner a bit at work.

So, let’s be honest. I ate 4 peppermint salt water taffies  after midnight. Why do I do this?